Beginning

Such is life! I have been trying to begin this blog for a few weeks now, but life keeps getting in the way. Single with four kids each with wants and needs, and with my mind overwhelmed with to do's and got to's, doesn't help! I didn't want to let my "to do" list to overtake my blog, but then I thought about it. Duh? The name of the blog is "Who's Life is it Anyway?" Who was I to think that I would get a moment to write? So I sit in the midst of it all, with my mind boggled with financial aid forms and back to school lists to start this blog about issues that may affect other women.

I have had this title for a long time, because I never feel like my life is my own. I can make plans, but one thing or the other always changes it up on me. Don't get me wrong I love my children, and I always figure it out, whatever "it" is, but sometimes get frustrated with the fact that I really can't just be.

If I started this blog five years ago, it would have been riddled with my life as wife and mother. Constantly trying to please someone that is on a different page is the most difficult thing I had ever had to do. I ultimately turned my page and moved on. It took twenty years, but I moved on. These twenty years got me thinking, why do women stay in relationships that are damaging to their being?

Well, there maybe many reasons, and I would love to hear from anyone out there, but I for one stayed because I thought I could make "it" work. I was married young and felt that we would learn over the years. I was strong and determined, and believed I could fix it. Over the years I became broken and a mere shadow of who I was. It wasn't until I reached the age of thirty that I realized that I can only fix one thing, ME! I started caring for myself, filling the void that he always left, and rediscovering the person I once was. Every thing, every responsibility as a mother, every chore as a homemaker, every aspect of day to day was on my shoulders. At the end of each day, I kept wondering, why is he here? Maybe only for the obvious benefit that a man fulfills (at least for my preference), but even that started to make me feel as though I was giving away my power. It wasn't worth my sanity. So, after those twenty learning years, I realized it was over. I wanted me back!

I have me now, along with previously mentioned endless responsibilities, but at least now I feel like I can do things my way. Rediscovering myself has been great! My passion to write and talk (as many who know me knows) is alive and well. I figured I will put it to use and maybe help or at the very least entertain others. Many things are new to me and in many instances I may feel naive, that's where you come in. I would love to hear your voices and experiences, maybe find that I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Duty calls, but before I go, let me know what you think.