Help!

As a little girl, my mother didn't do much for me. She guided me, but I did the rest. If I didn't know how to do something, I would ask questions, observe and then apply to my situation. Simple things like setting my hair in rollers to unclogging a toilet or bathtub, became things that I could do, and never had to ask for help. When I became a mother, I knew how to do many things to hold down a fort, to a fault. I am wonderwoman! I would work things out and situations would end up better than expected, because of my creative effort. This characteristic has helped me and helps me survive in many ways. The mind-set I work in is always a positive one. I always believe that I'll work it out. (Don't get me wrong...at times frustrations do take over.) Over the years I have added to my "toolbox" and now feel confident in my skills. Now to speak on this "To a fault" is what has lead me to sometimes being overwhelmed. I believe that I can get everything done for myself and others, but why do I do it? Why am I so stubborn that I can't ask for help? Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. I have always said that people need people. That's why we have family, friends, cohorts of people around us. I believe this, but yet have a hard time reaching out. I'm trying to work on that starting with my grown children, who sees the wonderwoman and think I'm good, while I'm thinking...Nah I really don't need anything else to do. I want to be one of those people Barbara Streisand sings about in Funny Girl, "People." "People, People who need people, are the luckiest people in the world." After all, wonderwoman had the justice league.

And You Know This Maaaan!

When we get shocking news, like Whitney Houston is dead at 48, we are then reminded that life is short! (May she rest in peace!) What is it about the way we live, that we forget and take for granted those things that are the most important, like spending time with family and friends, or the fact that we are able to rise up out of our bed and see what the day holds? We make excuses as to why we can't do the simplest thing like paying attention to our life. Many can't see past their own pain and as a result disregard the presence of joy in other things around them. Our own life gets in the way!

Growing up my family was close. So close that we all lived on the same street, for a time the same house. Together my family bought a six family house to house the growing clan. We started to spread out as we got older, but my grandparents remained the center fixture that brought us back together at the end of each day or at least weekends and definitely holidays. We did everything together! I went to high school with so many of my cousins, I believed that that was what everybody did. (I don't know if that's saying much, since we Cape Verdeans are all related...lol) My friends were my cousins. My mother repeatedly said, "If they didn't, you couldn't!" The presence of family was always all around me. My grandparents wanted it that way! After they passed, my family wasn't the same. There was no center to unite us. Everyone was doing their own thing, putting on the back burner what we were accustomed to most of our lives. It wasn't until after our youngest uncle passed unexpectedly, at forty nine years of age, that most of us realized how we neglected our bond. We regained our composure as family and had to plan to get together to insure that we continued what was important to us, FAMILY! We started monthly brunches and other get togethers. It does take effort, but it is all the more worth it, because once we get together we don't want to part!

It is in death that we are reminded of those things that we knew were important to us. We all know that life is short. We all know that our time is precious. We all know that we are not promised tomorrow. Set aside prejudice and pettiness, grudges and grief, and take hold of friendship and family, peace and love. In the end we all want the same thing, to love and be loved.
Let's not wait until we lose some one.